my friend who snorts cocaine won’t eat cookie dough because it’s bad for you

(Source: biforce)


i always wonder why no one likes me and then i remember i dont even like me


dear coca cola company,

i drank some of your POWERADE drink and im still weak as fuck when will the power begin to kick in? please reply soon, i just sent a mass text to my entire school saying i would beat up the football team this friday

(Source: falcnpunch)


I don’t use condoms ;)

not because i like to practice unsafe sex but because I never have sex

*misses school one day*

*misses a fight*

*misses a breakup*

*misses 12 assignments*

*misses a dog riding a skateboard*

*misses the shooting of archduke Ferdinand*